I Have Never Been In A Relationship || How Fake Is Relationship Very Angry

Furthermore, I have never seen someone

I am 27.

and have never been in a relationship.

That feels like a failure somehow.

An adult that has never gotten past the first date

And I have tried

I had a lot of crushes growing up.

because I loved anyone who truly seemed to care about being around me.

who enjoyed my company and acknowledged that they liked me.

like me when I could be myself.

but I was always misreading signals.

and they didn't like me like that.

which I accepted and moved on.

But the friendship seemed to fade after that.

and the pain of losing a friend.

This is the kind of pain that teaches a lesson.

And so I learned to ignore my crushes.

Having feelings for someone only ever ended in me being sad.

So I turned to dating apps.

The expectations were clear there.

If you were talking to someone, there was a mutual interest.

Suddenly, I felt confident in the conversation.

It made me charming and funny from a distance.

and I lived out the intensity of whole relationships.

without ever meeting anyone in person.

I had every emotion I had ever needed to feel.

and then sparks would fade if we met in person.

So, even in the easily connected digital dating age,

called "hookup culture."

I can't find a person with the desire to actually be with me.

I am permanently chasing people who don't return my feelings.

And so I have made it to 27 and never had a partner.

What if I tell the next person I really like that?

and they consider it a red flag.

and so they don't want to date me either.

even if they did before that.

or we start dating.

and I get to the point where I admit that this is my first relationship.

and that worries them.

So they see me in a new light.

and steadily but gradually

I lost interest in myself.

And we break up.

I might stop trying if I get hurt again.

I might be single forever.

just to avoid ever being rejected.

Am I so delicate?

If so,

I am certain I will be alone forever.

like the exhibit at the museum.

with all of the warnings on it.

that people avoid it entirely.

Because if you touch this valuable vase,

even gently

It will break.