Closed Captions were added by Moxi Media This film is made for people who stand for the True Love My Girlfriend is Alien The Lord used to live in the Peach blossom Planet As an ordinary folk he fell in love with the Princess They had a baby The King was furious He thought the loyal bloodline was stained Then, the Lord and the baby were expelled to the earth To let the baby live in a better world The Lord created life and human being But he found the ugly side of human He didn't want to live with them anymore Then, he took the baby and lived in seclusion Those idiots They want me to protect them? Never Even though the human is abominable there's a good side in them It's love They They are the representative of love This is me I am the daughter of the Lord and the Princess I am Xia Han The earth is full of warmth In there we can find the true love Just like us Give me my card No, it's mine No Give me No, it's mine Give me, quiet Or, I will kick you out Damn it Mengmeng What are you doing? Human They are the worst You should listen to the Lord In this world Love doesn't exist Well Love doesn't exist But he has many wives When you grow up you will know the difference between love and lust Few months later You will be 180 million years old By that time I will enthrone you in person I don't want to be like you I want to go find my love in earth What did you say?
You created the world for me How dare you! They are rubbish They are rubbish Rubbish Rubbish Rubbish Rubbish Rubbish Do you know that? You pissed me off Do you know that? Do you know that? Do you know that? Do you know that? Love doesn't exist I know it the most If you say that again I'll beat you to death You You are naked all the time If you bewitch her again I'll castrate you What? Are you scolding me? You are grounded for 100 years Honey Are you alright?
I sneak into the earth It took me a long time to figure out the rule in earth Only a beauty can find her true love So I need to become the sexiest woman in the world On my god Are you OK? Aren't you afraid that you will poop your gut out? Oh my god One day earlier That man He is Niu Zhenghu He is my true love in earth I work here so that I can see him everyday But I haven't said a ward to him yet Watch here We are going out for a cigarette What?What? Can I have a cup of pomelo tea with honey? Here you are Here is your exchange See you next time Hey Nowadays, young people All they care about is money or physical looking People like you He won't like you But don't be sad A man has to be mature In fact, I've had a crush on you for a long time This is the 1,260 time that I confess to you You don't have to be surprised every time It's hard to have a mature man like me I do like you At least think about it I think If we can't pay the money back we will die It was all your fault Buy a pair of silk stocking Don't lie to yourself In fact, deep down inside your heart You do love me How about this?
We can close the shop now Let's go back and talk Have a little talk Have a little talk Hah-hah Honey I love you Why do you come back so late? Come Have some soup Rest assured I didn't drug you What's that face? I did add something But it won't kill you I am your boss I am your landlord As long as you be with me The coffee shop and the house are yours Then, you will live in comfort What's wrong? Are you attracted? Come Let's go to the room We can talk Hah-hah I don't like you I am sorry Ah! You will At least you should try Ouch! You Except me Who will love you?
I offer you a job I deduct your rent If you still treat me like this I'll kick you out I was afraid that people will peep at you So I installed a camera Hey What did you say? What's wrong if my breasts are small? I can compare with Sister Fa The reason you like Ms. Feng because she has 200 million RMB, right? I don't think being rich is good Even when she walks she will feel tired Thank you Thank 1999 for his jet Love you Thanks Honey Tomorrow night Be there or be square I am Feng A'li I am Moxuan Love you Kiss, kiss, bye Bye See you tomorrow What are you knocking for?
Do you want to die? Well I want to use the washing machine For what? Can't you just wash the clothes first before doing your laundry? But But what? We are roommates Can't you do our laundry? You don't even clean the living room As for the meal You don't cook, either Do you have a problem with me? Just say it I am sorry Well Don't be scared In fact We do care about you Do you like Niu Zhenghu? Don't be shy We knew it It's his birthday He invited you I Rest assured We know men As long as you do as we say I assure you You will have what you want Relax Just tell him you like him What is it?
Hey Give me Hey It's too small Here, take this Please be quiet Music, stop Stop Next, my friend, Xia Han She is going to confess to Niu Zhenghu Happy birthday Mengmeng You are an adult now I prepared the Goddess of Liberty the Goddess of Life for you As long as you forget about the mortal world No matter what you want I will give you Mengmeng Mengmeng Mengmeng Where is she? Well She Few months ago, she said she want to find true love She went to the mortal world Few months ago? Who told you to do it?
Don't be worried She is an adult She will get married someday Open the door I am going to look for her No If you leave, who will be the Lord? What if something happens? Cut the crap I am Xia Han My father He is the so-called the Lord Today It's my 180 million years old birthday In fact I should become the Goddess of Liberty or the Goddess of Life But To find the true love I sneaked into here It was hard for me But I am lucky When I got here I fell in love with you But Until now I haven't said a word to him They told me I should confess to you Honey I love you Let me see What gift does she bring?
Wow How exciting! The Lord sells sex toys The daughter of the Lord? The last name of the Lord is Ye Your last name is Xia Do you use your mother's family name? You act like you are innocent In fact You are shameless Do you think he will be fooled by you? OPPA I picked this gift for you Isn't she the ugly girl in the coffee shop? Stop Beauty The moment I saw you I knew you are confused by relationship I have a manual of beauty It teaches women to attract men You will attract every man in the world I think the fate brought us here I will give you the book for free Moreover, I can teach you some techniques How is that sound? I just got my period Dumb-ass Dumb-ass, again?
Can you be creative? Love is hard The book Can you give it to me? The Manual of Beauty Look at here, it's for beauty Not you If I become a beauty will I find my true love? Of course If you have a plastic surgery it will cost a fortune Well I will do you a favor The book I will give you if you pay me 2,000 RMB Where is the money? Good people do it to the end Hey Well The techniques you said Can you teach me? You? Become a beauty first Lord I grounded you But you ran away It's your coming-of-age ceremony You have to choose to be the Goddess of Liberty or the Goddess of Life Then, you will come back with me Can I be the Goddess of Beauty?
You are an adult now You still care about the physical appearance Yadan told me The Goddess of Beauty is the most beautiful woman in the world If I can be a beauty, I can find my true love So obsessive Don't think about love again No No You can't stop me from finding my true love because of mother Don't talk about her I made you I can do whatever I want Should I be a puppet, just like the human you created?
'd rather I have nothing to do with you I will make the decision I am the Lord Everyone has to listen to me Give me the totem My totem If I can't have love I'd rather die OK Do whatever you want But remember If you can't find the true love you will be tortured to death Hum Now What you did is cruel You used Xia Han to confess to Niu Zhenghu If I was her I'd rather to die Hum People like her No one will care about her Are you OK?
Aren't you afraid that you will poop your gut out? Oh my god Does she sleep with the landlord? Hey Get out of there I am sorry I borrowed your clothes I am Xia Han's sister, Xia Lin From now on, I will live here Xia Han talked about you She said you are a billionaire We will get along with each other As for cooking and laundry I can take care of it Don't be ridiculous You are a woman, too I am a lesbian now Love is like tide People are like boats Some of them are drowned Some of them are overturned How did you get in? Relax I I am the book Thanks to you I am incarnated Book I become a beauty now Tell me how to find my true love Tell me Why women need nice bodies?
To wear pretty clothes No, you want people to look at you The first rule of the book You have to learn to use your advantage in a proper way If you use it well the whole world will go crazy for you The pants need to be as short as it can As for the body Show your body as much as you can Like this? Well Lower Like this? Lower Lower Like this? Lower Lower How about this? Well The Manual of Beauty A'li Although we just knew each other but I do love you Can you accept my sincere love? Are you telling the truth? Of course not Beauty Beauty Beauty Beauty Beauty Wait Beauty Although we just met I can't stop loving you Please accept me OK Beauty Beauty Hey I mean it I love you Hey For God's sake Are you so desperate?
Yes I've never be liked by so many men Come back They don't really like you How do you know? Hum Tell me Before you become pretty Does anyone like you? No So I am right Rule number two Keep a high profile From now on Thousands of men will be crazy for you You have to stay cool Do you know that? You need to hide your feelings No matter what they tell you You need to calm down OK? Xia Lin The reason I do so is out of jealousy I don't want anyone to be close to you All I want is you will be mine Although I am just a book I already fall in love with you Would you be with me?
I do Anyway You have to be cool Just remember these words Boring Loser Hmm. How interesting You You ungrateful guys You stole my money Bi.. You flirted my girl Give my money and my girl back Boss We were helping you Think about it At that night Xia Han kept accounts You have to ask her about the money She is too poor to pay the money back So what if she can't pay the money back?
Well She has to sell herself to pay the debts Right? What if she doesn't agree? Bitch Rest assured If she doesn't agree we will help you to ripe her Hah-hah Bullshit Well Well I am Xia Han's sister I will cover for her Beauty, Beauty Quiet Shut up Queue up if you are here to buy drinks Or, get out I want to buy something From now on, add 500 more RMB for each drink I will take it In fact Xia Han talked about you She said She will introduce you to me So we can be together I will give you all my money Hah-hah Boring Help me I want to ripe her Pervert Beauty We are Xia Han's friends Are you free tonight? We can drink some beer and make friends Loser She How does she know?
How does she know we are losers? Beauty Give me your number The money is yours Hum. How interesting Move Beauty, I mean no harm All I want is a lemonade By the way I want to appreciate you Me, too Are you Xia Han's sister? You didn't talk to me before Now, you are flirting me You are a pervert, too Ouch Beauty Wait Beauty, don't go Beauty, don't go Hey, stay Now, two for one Hey You pervert Do you want to see boobs? I have boobs For free Stay cool Don't let anyone win There's more Rule number three Choose a gentleman I am rich I don't lack of women But women like you You are so beautiful I didn't see a woman like you before It seems that he likes me He is a playboy Bury them Let me go, help Let me go, help How is that?
Are you happy now? Don't pretend Tell me How much money do you want? So you can be my woman I It seems that you are unwilling Next Hey Wait Don't bury them Don't bury them Don't bury them Young lady I am a billionaire If you are willing to serve me when I die the asset will be yours Is he using his asset to but my love? How do you know?
You are too old, I do Great Great Oh Oh Master Master Oh my god The asset is mine Hah-hah Sister Hum No juveniles Hum Hum You don't like this You don't like that When will I find the one? Relax When you meet a man your heart will beat fast Then, you will understand Stop Stop Look at a distance, it's vague When I get closer, it's fluttering It's fluttering in the water Some people say it's a bottle gourd, the others say it's a ladle Two men are making a bet It turns out there are two monks They are taking a shower Stay away OK Let her go Don't force me If you force me I will kill her I OK The women is so fierce My purse My purse Madame Please check your stuff Hah-hah They are all here Is that it? Calm down Rule number four Make sure he is a great man A gentleman won't be attracted by physical looking Miss You wear too little Don't catch cold He is not a pervert I want to marry him Calm down If he does love you he will expose himself He just farted in front of me He does love me Anyone will fart I can fart now He can do such gross thing I want to marry him Relax If he does love you he will do whatever it takes to be with me My father won't agree Rest assured I am do everything he ask Sir In this card There are 10 million RMB Vulgar He still won't agree Sir I do love her He still won't agree Then I will kill him If I want to be with you no one can stop me I said it My man Wait, a good man He can even kill people for me He does love me Shut up You You You You My man I love you A kiss shouldn't be like this The last chapter The last chapter To be a perfect woman A perfect woman not only does housework she has to cook She has to do exercise to maintain a perfect body Do whatever it takes to be perfect The most important No matter how good you are You have to let people know you belong to him Don't follow me We are fine You can do what you want to do We will watch When you break up we can take the chance Sister My man Well Honey Oh my god Remember Before you love someone you have to figure it out Go My Goddess Thanks My queen Your laundry is finished The dinner is ready Well Do you want to go out? Come Allow me My man Xia Lin Honey Let's go Xia Lin Xia Lin Xia Lin Xia Lin Will you marry me? Whether you can cook or not Whether you have a good body or not I will always love you Now You are mine I won Childish Lord Honey Who is she? Who are you?
Well Honey Why are you here? Who is that bitch? What did you do? I am testing him Honey Honey Listen to me The Lord is testing you You love me, don't you? We are adults Don't pretend to be innocent OK? How can you let people fool you? Women like you I've seen a lot We are just having fun Don't take it seriously You lied to me If I didn't people will lie to you Look at you, young and beautiful How can I let someone else have you? Bitch Bitch Shame on you You stole my man Honey Hah-hah Hah-hah Hah-hah Hah-hah You lost You changed him Even if I didn't he will dump you Here Watch The last chapter of the manual When you read to here I hope you understand Love is just an accident In your life the most important thing is the process Now You can control men Don't be sad for any relationship Because in the world Love doesn't exist Why?
You told me I can find my true love if I become a beauty I am just a book How would I know? I didn't write the book Well You disappointed me So the Goddess likes married men Goddess I am married Seduce me Goddess Although I am ugly I am gentle Call me Call me Goddess, stay Stay, Goddess Goddess, stay Goddess, stay Beauty Where are you going? I knew you are confused by relationship Come I have a way to help you You Oh my god Your surgery is great Where did you get this? In this world Love does exist, right? What? You wrote in the book Love doesn't exist You lied Love does exist, right? Tell me Of course I am your true love Come We can find a place to talk Why? Why do you lie to me? Once upon a time I was like you I long for love In this book Every woman is imaginary I did everything the book says In the end, you ask me does love exist? No, it doesn't exist So We shouldn't waste our time We should live in the moment Come Lord Lord Don't go Sister God My queen Shit Xia Lin Xia Lin Xia Lin Lord What happened? I've been waiting for you Where were you? Xia Lin What happened? Xia Lin Xia Lin Lord Get out I know I was wrong Now that you knew Forget about love When we get back I'll remove your feeling I will make you a real God No Although I failed I will find the true love True love? True love? You will be banished because of love You are waste yourself I already set the rule when I created the world Love will bring pain There's no live together for an entire lifetime No Do you know that? You can't let people suffer because what you've been through You are not the Lord You are monster Monster I created everything Everyone has to listen to me You control the world But you can't control people's minds I believe There is someone who is like me No matter how miserable it is he will search for true love I will find him Come back with me If I can't have love I'd rather go rot and die here As long as you find the true love the curse will disappear You are no longer my daughter Come to my place at 4: 50 Be punctual If you don't love me don't come Bye You lied to me I am upset Why people don't love me? Who is it? The door is open I just came in Xia Lin You came in I am here to look for Xia Han What do you want? I I like her How come? She isn't sexy She isn't pretty How could you like her? Don't die Tell me If you love someone you don't need an excuse I go to the coffee shop everyday I pretend to read I peep at her But I don't dare to tell her So I held the birthday party I invited her But she didn't look at me Here you are I wanted to tell her But I didn't have a chance Here is your change See you next time Hey In the end I told her roommate to invite her She showed up She said she like me She cried like a baby But Until now I haven't said a word to him I don't know how hard it is to love someone They told me as long as I confess to you Honey I love you I was over the moon When I saw people laughing at her I wanted to tell her I love her But I didn't do anything I just watched her run away I want to look for her But it will end up like this But Finally I said it Please Give this to her Honey Don't die Honey Don't I don't want you to die No No What are you doing?
If you leave the totem you'll die He is just a mortal man He can't handle the power You will die in a day Is he worth it? He loves me You broke the law You should go now Stop My bike Come back Chapter three: It's love Xia Han Honey What's going on? Am I dead? Where is your sister? Where were you? In fact I want to tell you many things My sister told me What? You love me, too Your mouth Do you feel better? Yes What are you thinking? You like painting, right? I want to take you to the art exhibition I want to watch a movie with you I want to sing for you I want to do everything with you OK Oh my Why are you holding me so tight? I will kill you Can the totem save her? Kill me You did this to her Please save her, kill me now Stay Kill me What's wrong? I need to go to the toilet Today I had the best day in my life Being alone Don't be afraid OK My babies Honey Honey Honey I love you We love you, too Come here
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